Saturday, November 27, 2010

-just be urself-

YOU EAT, YOU’RE FAT. YOU DON’T EAT, YOU’RE A FREAK. YOU DRINK, YOU’RE AN ALCOHOLIC. YOU DON’T DRINK, YOU’RE A PUSSY. YOU READ, YOU’RE A NERD. YOU DON’T READ, YOU’RE STUPID. YOU TELL A SECRET, YOU’RE AN ATTENTION SEEKER. YOU DON’T TELL A SECRET, YOU’RE STILL ATTENTION SEEKING. YOU LET SOMEONE IN, YOU’RE EASY. YOU DON’T LET SOMEONE IN, YOU’RE TOO UPTIGHT. YOU SMOKE, YOU THINK YOU’RE COOL. YOU DON’T SMOKE, YOU’RE A LOSER. YOU’VE HAD SEX, YOU’RE A SLUT. YOU HAVEN’T HAD SEX, YOU’RE A FRIGID LITTLE BITCH. YOU WEAR MAKE UP, YOU’RE A SLAG. YOU DON’T WEAR MAKE UP, YOU’RE UGLY. YOU CAN’T PLEASE ANYONE. EVER.

(Source: skelet0ns, via therocketdream)

Monday, November 22, 2010

-scribbled feeling-

Passion plays it all,
no love can be found..
pride used to be so tall,
now lust wears the crown...


It's unfair to him,
for me to live in the past..
and promise a future realm,
saying all will last...


we know it will come,
memories stay in mind,
passion dies with time...
i'll see you in shadows,
and myself turns into crow...


oh,how i like to cry,
pour me with your lie,
ignore me and i will cry...
don't worry i won't die
crying's my lullaby...


(Allyshea,2010)

-the ugly truth-


Kissing's a pleasure
Fucking's a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain

He says he loves you, and you believe it's true
Until your belly starts to swell and he says hell with you.
10 minutes of pleasure, 9 months and pain
3 days in hospital, a child without a name

The baby's a bastard
The mother's a whore
This never would have happened if the rubber hadn't tore.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

-would u run away-

Yes/No Questions, please answer all the questions truthfully:

1. will u still be around when u know the real me?

2. will u still be around when i tell u i like my hair blue/dark purple instead of plain black?

3. will u still be around when u listened to my favorite weird musics?
some people called it noise...
but its my lullaby and it sooths my mind....

4. will u still be around when i tell u that i like to read about the ghostly stuff?
i like weird creatures with weird abilities...
they make me feel out of the world n not normal...
soul,bones,werewolf,vampire,night creatures....

5. will u still be there when i tell you about the past me?
stupid,fool,lost...
i may be still d same...
i think i am...lol

6. will u still be around after hearing all my cursing & rough words?
i cursed for reasons..
i dont just walk around & spit out the so called venom...
i'm sane...

7. will u still be there when i tell u that i might not want to change who i am today?
i'm content with what i have...
i'm "sabai" enough...
of course i will change for the better, if what i'm doing & practicing is wrong,
& against the law...

will you still be around?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

-the escape-





i have to post what i'm thinking here, cant do it in Facebook,they'll know that i'm not studying,hahaha...come on, it's hard to focus on something for a long time...i need a little space/rest (so called little) to express what's playing in my head..i'll go loco keeping all of it to myself...




-something i've created while staring at the junk beside my bed (how i wish i can bury myself in the blanket and pillow now,urrghh)-

the war between the head and the heart,
spitting out different language,
when they're functioning as one...
the war between thinking and feeling,
makes the living ache...

venom into fire,
burning the dying...

i'm hanging on on a thread,
a thin thread...
as i'm trying harder to be where i am,
my fingers buried,clawing and clinging to whatever is beyond my reach...

u,whoever might read this,
might not read the underlying meaning...
it's just a bowl of thought....
my bowl...

Saturday, November 13, 2010

conteng-conteng kehidupan

sy akan memulakan scribble2 of life sy pd masa yg tdekat jak,klu stat dr hari sy dilahirkn,nescaya keyboard sy akan tcabut n sy xbpluang utk buat revision las minit sy...

skg ni musim xm,bkn musim mengawan k (blm blh lg)...& spt biasa sbg plajr yg agak cemerlang & patut diberi anugerah khas, smngat utk bljr tu akan dtg las2 minit..biasala ba tu kn,otak lbh mudah menyerap apabila dipaksa dgn rela (Alicia, 2010)...asemen pn bgtu kn,bsok dateline,ni mlm nda tdr brabis ksh siap...yg ppn sgp nda bebedak p klas psl klam kbut mo print asemen awal pg sblm p klas...ngeh,trasa ka? (bdasarkn pengalaman hidup,hohohoho)

actually bkn tu ba main point sy m'entrykn diri hr ni,bkn ni yg bmain2 d otak sy td...td sy imagine merry-go-round,skali tkluar men ayunan jak plak...hmmm,2010 mcm not a good year,bg sy la... hidup kita x sma kn,tdk jg sy srh ko stuju...dunia pn mcm penat da mo tampung kita,ada2 jak yg blaku...banjir la,taufan la (megi lg tu nama dia,huissh),gng mletup la (mletus yg mcm ngam),gegaran yg xtra dr biasa, etc... klu fkr2 kn,mcm suma ni blaku mcm mo ksh bersih ni bumi dr suma jht2 n bkn2 yg manusia buat kn...tu ombak mcm taking the thrown away babies to somewhere better...the wind mcm taking away the souls to place they'll rest...

i dont have a halo on my head,n i might end up in hell when i die..but now,while i'm still learning n breathing, i'm trying to be the best fr me n everyone...see, things dont always end up the way we plan..when that happen to me, i'll always look at the angle where i know that God put it that way for reasons, n its for the best (i'm not always this positive though,hehe)...

something i learnt recently: deal with ur own sickness before u attend others...
u dont teach kids how to wear the clothes when u wear it inside out urself...
dont criticize people as if u're being paid (nda pndai bhenti pnya stail tu ba)...hehehe
to make thing worse, it happens in d same blood...mcm len jak sy xplain,tp itu la mksd dia tu (??)...bkn sy mo menyumpah, tp takut if u keep doing that, nnti ketulahan baa...bkn mo minta2..tp smpai bila la mo mcm tu...mcm lirik lagu "if u dont like me, i'm a bad person"... biar la kita masing2 dgn hal masing2 kn,lg bgs...klu rasa mo sharing,buat cara sharing,ckp depan2,kekekeke.....mcm forum,kita ddk dlm bulatan...minta tlng ketua kg jd pengerusi majlis...

(brabis sy menaip,blm sy bljr...k,jap lg)

mari la kita sma2 m'besar (minum susu junjung)... sama2 maju depan (teda gear gustan)...
::::kedengaran bunyi kentut::::

u dont just change ur bloodline...